There were only a few of us gathered, this time. Seven in total, if I remember correctly.
It was intense. Although it was all about all of us, this collective dance seemed to swirl more potently around one in particular. It seemed that this day, she would be The One who would express out loud what so many were thinking/feeling/carrying as they stepped into the room.
It wasn’t pretty. A voice shaken with intense and deep truth; a face contorted in the pain of its discovery; and the wailing sound of grief raging at life unlived.
Some looked away. Some longed to comfort and held themselves back, knowing that doing so would serve no purpose.
Others looked down or looked away, trying with great desperation to look away from that same truth as it awakened in them… trying to hold in check the grief that moved through their own body.
Regret is a painful and often debilitating moment. And as has often been said, our greatest regrets are of those things we did not do… that we did not allow ourselves to engage… or for which we could not find the courage. For far too many women, far too many regrets are tied to being unwilling to stand alone; unwilling to be judged and shunned and ridiculed by others; and unwilling to let go of the distorted and very old truth that in simply being ourselves, we are not enough.
It’s been an intense six months and I know that the future will offer more and more moments of great discovery, often cloaked in exhalations of rage, grief, despair and fear, tempered only by moments of longing and regret. I ask myself: am I up for it? The question barely complete in my awareness and my body knows it is all unfolding as it should.
Today, I am mindful that hours away another small group of women is gathering… likely moving quickly and effortlessly into the deep end of the pool… trusting in themselves and in each other. Although some may have found the path to be filled with white light and forgiveness, that has not been my simple truth. My life has been - and continues to be - filled with more ugly and dangerous tales of the myth of the intact family than I choose to allow myself to recall. That we seek so desperately to have it not have been so, does not make it true. And in this more than anywhere else, I know, the truth shall indeed, set us all free.
I believe in the godforce that each of us already is. I believe that the future is in our hands - right here, right now. And I believe with every breath I take that women are the key.
Women have always gathered in small groups, talking… creating a force that has allowed them/us to survive, to protect ourselves and protect our children. What we are coming to know is that THAT force - of women gathering in small groups, talking… - IS the force that will reshape culture! And every voice counts.
May 6th, 2009
Posted by
Louise |
Insights |
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I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve settled in to write here and have moved away. It’s not that I don’t have profoundly moving experiences to share - it’s that I have no idea how to even attempt to capture them in words when they are still racing through my body and transforming who I AM, from one nano-second to the next.
A whirlwind of women gathering in small groups, talking…. from the Group of 10 in early April; to the Manifesting a Meaningful Life conversation in March; to the Power, Passion and Purpose Emerging Futures retreat at the Fairmont Manoir Richelieu… my life is expanding in ways and at a speed that I have no idea how to represent in this space.
I could try to tell the story of it and, in my sense of it, doing so would only serve to make it smaller. Perhaps we would all be best served by sharing with you what has appeared and manifested and come into being as a result of it. Yes! That’s it! That is my way to open to all here, what I opened to become, during those times together.
A new book project on redefining the paradigm of Parenting, already in flow.
An internet radio show and podcasting.
New CODE Model Coaching CD series… with Part 3 to come.
Multi-CD series of guided reflections that awaken the expression of the godforce in the Quantum Biological BeingTM
A WEL-Systems World! ‘conference’ in the fall of this year to celebrate the expression of Intention 2009!
A new self-paced, modular Self-Discovery CD package for an acceleration of awakening and living authentically.
Recording for production on CD of the WEL-Systems body of knowledge, in French, for the global French community.
And much, much more to come!
Vibrant! Alive! Dynamic! Powerful! Women awakening to their individual, personal expressions not of what they are passionate about, but their passion in flow as a living expression of ‘meaning’ in their lives.
Women willing to embark on a journey of discovery, moving boldly into what they don’t know, daring to be filled with the much larger, more dangerous and sometimes frightening questions that become the fuel for their curiosity to ignite passionately into action… and engage!
Women able to fill the room… fill their lives… fill their world… with the sounds of bold and unfettered laughter and tears, strength and vulnerability, recognizing that the power or powerlessness is not in either of those but in their willingness or unwillingness to own whatever is present - moment to moment - as it fills their body with the force of its potential… and just allow it to be.
Women willing to stay present… stay connected… stay focused… and engage, from one breath to the next, without the need of a master plan or performance guidelines; trusting that the force in the moment coursing through their bodies IS the only thing required. LIFE need not be explained, defined or dissected into small, manageable bite-size pieces. It needs only to be LIVED!
These past months have been, for me, what has nourished me and propelled me into bigger and more potent realizations of my own. These have been the conversations and exchanges that have made it possible for me to continue to grow and evolve and become the ongoing and boundless expression of my own potential - trusting that in being willing to be mySelf without apology is all that is ever required.
In the face of all that appears to unfold on my holodeck, I remind myself that the holodeck is of my own creation. I pause… take a breath… and remember that I AM the canvas on which my life appears from the brushstrokes of my choices. I am not a victim to any of its expression - I am the creator of it all. When I can find the genius in what is unfolding, I can stand and create differently, knowing that in that genius, I have already become more.
In this moment, I know that as I stand alone, I am in the very best of company. The women in my life - the women of my WOI gatherings; the women who are drawn to the WGGG; the women of the growing and evolving G10; the women who are drawn to accelerate their own evolution through Decloaking, Engaging and Manifesting a Meaningful Life; the women who have come and gone and returned in that perfect moment of ‘it’s time’; the women who blog, record, post, read, listen, watch; the women who create events, facilitate programs, engage relentlessly in the pursuit of their own unfolding; the women who in their willingness to transform their world are unwilling to go quietly into the night; the women who stand tall, raise their voices and fill the conversation.. the room.. the world with their presence; the women who RIG effortlessly, who draw the line in the sand by becoming the line in the sand!; the women who are unwilling to draw one more breath without the head of the Lioness firmly connected to the body of the woman; the women whose voices carry the future in their loud and clear declaration to all around : “You cannot have my childdren!” - to all these women in my life through whatever it is that connects us - I AM with you, as I know the I AM that you are is with me. In that, I find both great power and great comfort.
The future is in the hands of women - and the time is NOW!
April 26th, 2009
Posted by
Louise |
Events, Groups, Insights, leadership |
no comments
The image that keeps coming to mind is that of Seven of Nine (Star Trek: Voyager) standing in her regeneration chamber. Alive yet not quite awake. Present and aware yet not engaging in anything other than her own immediate requirement to source herself.
On Monday, a small group of women will gather, talking… about manifestation and their lives. Or is it their lives and manifestation? In this moment, I am mindful that without manifestation, it all stops.
My first manifestation is my own existence. The I AM that I am, streaming through this physical body, is the force that keeps this body moving through a physical world. Perhaps my moment of stepping into the regeneration chamber is that moment of choosing to connect directly with that force and mindfully consider: do I want to be here? If Seven of Nine ceases to engage the chamber, so does her life reflect that.
The question then becomes: existence for what purpose? What is my intention in being here… in this time… at this point in history? Why now and not 1922? or 1612? What is it about this space/time experience - like an intersecting stream of consciousness - that makes my presence here just perfect? And for me to entertain that question, I must be willing to consider that my presence is not an accident; that my intention in being here transcends the mundane trajectory of having been born, living and dying; and that as in all things, I am in this dance with the potential to transform the dance itself. When have we ever been encouraged to think those thoughts??? Most of us live and die believing that we have not, in truth, mattered beyond the reach of our daily, often small, lives.
I look around my world and I bear witness to a world manifested without mindful presence/intention. Manifestation, as a force… as the force of I AM… NEVER stops! When I manifest from mindlessness, (I believe) we get what we’ve got. Where do we now stand to manifest differently?
This coming week, our conversations will move to much more expansive explorations! We’ll begin and end at the level of discovering: Who am I? How does my presence in this universe, at this time, matter at the level of the universe? I’ve learned over the years that once I/we have a sense of that, life transforms quickly and easily. Gone is the need to struggle with changes and choices - they simply fall out of my mouth, as required.
In this moment, I sit in the stillpoint… waiting… knowing that another layer is about to present; one that is completely new and unfamiliar to me, with an invitation to simple engage and discover what comes of it. No great need to figure it out or analyze any of it - just ‘be’ whatever the ‘it’ of the discovery is. Trust that if it presents, it is meaningful in some way and engage to discover more. Letting go of all that has been and allowing what might be to enter into, swirl around and present what becomes my life, with my willingness and ability to simply live it… to be it.
I read all the blogs and marvel at the insights and discoveries; at the courage and willingness to trust and to test. I watch from this place in my regeneration chamber and know that in this moment, my place is here… outside all as it unfolds… coming to know that the platform is a solid one. It is time for the next wave to awaken and be in movement… be the flow of manifesting a different world.
We are highly contagious. As I read, I know that the contagion of so many - of Lisa and Sarah and Natasha and Amy and Lisa and Tanya and… and.. and… (it’s a long list!) is the virus of awakening thought that is, in turn, the invitation to much more powerful ways of being. Their willingness to stand and be counted… to be seen and heard in the full measure of their own, ongoing evolution… manifests. And it is all unfolding as it should.
When I wrote of the compound, I knew that one story was ending and a new one was about to begin. My story is not one for the telling but one to be lived. In this stillpoint… in this place of regeneration where all that is required of me is to breathe in and breathe out… I wait… and I listen… and I trust. And when my eyes open and I take that first step forward, I know my world will already have changed.
Those who gather will soon know the truth of that in themselves. In the expression of a manifestation spiral, it is never about my life or yours. It is about Life, itself!
Every day, I wake up and ask myself: how does the godforce that I AM choose to live today? I look beyond my walls and consider my world as my domain. I recognize and seek to engage in knowing that I - like every single one of you - is an essential aspect of expression of the world in which we all live. My presence does not just touch my family and friends; my clients and colleagues - it contributes to and directly shapes the entire world! And so does yours.
I look around me and I see the lives that women live. I ‘know’ of the women in other parts of the world through what I hear and read. And yet, I ‘know’ of the lives of the women in my neighborhood… in my community… in my Program Room… in my email inbox… and trust that those are the ones I can touch directly if I am willing to be my Self. They, in turn, touch another… and they touch another.. and on it goes in seeking the point of critical mass. In my world, it is all about thought and. its platform for manifestation. But for that to be so, I must claim and show up for my own life; and I must be willing to be seen to have done so. No apologies. No explanations. No holding back!
In this stillpoint… in this I’o breath, the breath of inhaling and exhaling at the same time… I wait. I invite and allow. I welcome. I let go. I become the blank page on which my own potential is being written. I trust. And through it all, I know that it is all unfolding as it should.
Breathing is good….
March 19th, 2009
Posted by
Louise |
Insights |
no comments
Long ago, in a place of hot sand, blistering sun and gleaming water, there lived a small community of women and children. During the day, they were actively engaged in the larger community of men and women that surrounded them but at night, they retreated behind the locked gates of a compound, surrounded by high and thick stone walls. The only way in was if invited.
The compound housed a small collective of women and children, about 40 in total. Although they looked like everyone else, they were different. They thought differently… spoke differently… and created their world differently. Theirs was a world inside a world; and as much as they could venture out into that other world, others could not seem to enter into theirs.
One night, they came. In the peaceful stillness of sleeping women and children came the sounds of running feet… startled screams and crying children. And the carnage began. When it was over, all the children were silent. The women, still alive in body, were dead in spirit and soul. The message had been delivered: silence yourselves or we will silence you!
We were harmless. In truth, we ventured into the community and offered new thoughts… new ways of being… that brought hope to those who had tired of living. We challenged no one. We invited and offered; we listened and respected; and then at night, we would return to our world within a world. Clearly, our ways of being had become a challenge or a threat to that other world, as it had come to know itself.
How could it have happened? How could the walls of this impenetrable place have been breached? When the image of the compound comes to mind, its walls are several feet thick and stand several men high. At a time when tools to challenge were minimal, there was only one way: someone inside opened the gates.
Betrayal. Betrayal from within. Betrayal of the self, by the self. In my own world, today, how many times does this happen? How many times do I pull back and stop myself from engaging in what I know is deeply meaningful? How many times do I allow an other from within my world to sell me short, talk me out of or into something? In how many ways do I allow someone… another or some aspect of myself… to breach the compound of my own intentions and leave me lifeless and silent in the creation of what is deeply meaningful for and to me?
Time passes… information flows… and it comes to be discovered that the one who opened the gate did so out of a desire to help… to ‘make things right’… having come to believe that this world within a world was wrong/bad/dangerous. Rather than just leave; and in the genuine and misguided desire to help and do the ‘right’ thing; in the need to be accepted and integrated into the larger world, one woman’s choices brought an end to the choices of so many others. This world came to an end. The greatest danger… the one that could touch us… lived inside the walls.
In this moment, I wonder: how many women strive to help other women get ‘back on track’… return to the norm… let go of their disruptive thinking and conform? With the practice of foot binding, it is the women who bound the feet of their young daughters.
In this moment, I look inside to determine where my greatest challenges lie.
March 7th, 2009
Posted by
Louise |
Insights |
2 comments
… is my truth about me.
How foreign a notion is that? Like the vast majority of women, I had never been taught that the only truth that has any power in having an impact on my life is my truth about me. Not my truth about you (which you can’t hear, anyway) but the simple truth I carry inside myself, about myself, and am so terrified will be discovered by another.
Perhaps that is why we spend so much of our time ‘fussing’. We fuss over what happened yesterday. We fuss over what someone else said or did. We fuss over how someone else (sometimes a television or movie character!) is living their life! I remember long ago saying to my mother, as she was fussing about something : ’Fussing is something women do so that we can pretend we’re making a difference.” She was none too impressed. (Lucky for me, she’s my mother and believes herself obligated to love me because she gave birth to me. Score one for me! :)
Women gather in small groups, talking… as a way of moving through the world. Far too often, women gather in small groups and talk… about each other, about the past, about how it should or shouldn’t be. Women gather and define how someone else should live (i.e. giving advice) - sometimes face-to-face and sometimes only after that person has left.
Women gather and look to someone else for their answers, seeking wisdom from another that cannot possibly be found anywhere other than deep within the Self.
Women ‘talk about’ and ‘talk at’ each other. It is just so much easier than actually telling the truth… that much deeper, darker one that usually lies well-covered at the bottom of the soul. For all the ‘right’ reasons, we try desperately to keep that one to ourselves.
We are not bad, wrong or crazy! We are well trained. It’s that simple. It took me a while to discover that I was not deficient or defective - just disenfranchised; profoundly disconnected from the intuitive and innate truth that I carried as the unique and powerful being that I was… that I AM. And beyond that, trained to perfection in laying claim to a culturally conditioned belief that it didn’t really matter, anyway. After all, who would really care?
Well, I discovered, I care! And the most potent way for me to care is to turn inward and own what’s there. It doesn’t have to be genius, it just has to be mine. It doesn’t have to be complex or complicated, it just has to be authentic. And I don’t have to be like you or anyone else, I just have to know that in this breath, I am being me.
In the world of the Declaration of Evolution by Intention, I will be adding one more to the list of Beliefs/Values/Attitudes that, I believe, will take me to where I want to go. And that is: ”The only truth that can change my life is my truth about me. ” In my world, it is the only truth worth telling.
We need to learn how to do that. We need to be willing to discover how else we might ‘be’ in the world, redefined by our own desires to express and ‘be’. The paradox is: as long as I seek outside myself to discover how, I am not inside. There is greater discovery inside my own chaos than there will ever be outside in the advice of others.
February 3rd, 2009
Posted by
Louise |
Insights |
no comments
I am redefining how I hold the notion of ‘more’.
There was a time when ‘more’ meant two cars instead of one; or one car but ‘higher end’ than this one. It also meant a 5000 square foot house instead of 2500 square feet; or two trips to Hawaii in the same year. I don’t even know how to think in those terms anymore.
The ‘more’ that I now think of is so much more difficult to describe or explain. It is the ‘more’ that profoundly changes me and leaves me without words as the pointers to help you see. I have no idea how or why, I just know that I am different.
The ‘more’ that now shapes my life is intangible… like smoke or mist rather than concrete or brick. The only thing permanent about it is its incessant capacity to morph into something else. I can’t always see it or touch it - I need to just trust that it’s there.
Part of the ‘more’ of my life is found in the recent explosion of powerful conversations with amazing women! On Friday, I spent two hours (that felt like 20 minutes) in conversation with Lisa and came away from that time together profoundly aware of having, yet again, become ‘more. There was no plan for that - just the willingness to be there, fully, in body, mind and spirit.
In that time together, the mist cleared and I could see. I saw co-creation as the ‘more’ that I am now stepping into; and I saw very clearly what/how that co-creation holds meaning in my life.
I have often said that, in my world, I cannot co-create if I can not create. If I am not able to bring the full measure of my presence into a Manifestation Spiral and bring into existence that which profoundly enlivens me, how can I hold myself as co-creator with another who can? Without this capacity to, first, create my world, I become support for - an assistant or helper - in another’s creation. There is nothing wrong with or bad about this - it is simply that I eventually become disenchanted and resentful. ’Creation’ requires focus and mindful intent, fueled by the desire to ‘manifest’ rather than work at. It also requires that we be totally, completely and fiercely unwilling to let go of what is meaningful to us!
The ‘more’ that I now seek is that of co-creation with others who are, clearly, the creators of their own experience. Women who are drawn forward into their Emerging Future and are passionate about their unwillingness to NOT manifest what they desire! In these moments, co-creation is not a matter of ‘working together’ but more one of paying attention to and watching for those naturally occurring, intersecting moments when my creation and their creation cross, creating a massive space for co-creation to be awakened and ignited! In that, there is such coalescence of the forces of manifestation that acceleration and expansion occur naturally - without effort, without plan and without struggle. Now, for me, THAT is what it’s all about!
In the ‘more ‘ of this co-creation, I stay focused on my intention to create that which is profoundly meaningful to me and for me. At the same time, I hold in my awareness - in the background of my mind - all that is being created by those with whom I engage. That’s all that is required - the rest falls into place in its own time and space. I need to be awake and present, to my own creation and to the presence of others and their desires/intentions to create what’s meaningful for and to them.
The ‘more’ that this represents goes beyond any linear, manageable journey. Co-creation occurs in bursts of genius and activity! It occurs in flashes of insight and layer upon layer of letting go, trusting, inviting and allowing. It occurs, not from any measurable or identifiable plan or strategy but from snippets of conversation that surface above the din of a collective conversation. It only occurs when and because I am willing and able to claim and own… to stand tall and visible and strong… in MY creation without losing it or myself to some external standard or interpretation that encourages me to become less that someone else may feel like more.
I am enthralled by the potential that co-creation invites and awakens. I am mesmerized by power of it all; and eager to press the edges and see what surfaces. There is nothing reasonable, logical or linear about co-creation. Explosions of this type offer up the magnificence of what appears to some as chaos and what others know to be gateways of potential. The key is to not lose mySelf.
It’s going to be an amazing year!
January 25th, 2009
Posted by
Louise |
Insights, leadership |
no comments
Sometimes, I have to pause… and take a breath… and remind myself of how lucky I am. For a nano-second, I stand in awe of how fortunate I am that I am blessed to lead this life. And in the next nano-second, I am reminded by mySelf that I created it all!
This past week-end, 13 women gathered to discover what’s next. What an effortless experience it all was! No agenda, no handouts, no presentations, no notes…. just us - coffee/tea in hand, comfy chairs and each other.
For two days, we talked and we listened. At some times, tears of laughter; and at other times, tears of letting go. Through it all, not a single soul was lost or rescued, broken or fixed; and not a one was lost to herSelf.
We spoke of discovering that we are not alone. Strange - so frequently we have come together in other ways and yet, the notion of being alone had lingered.
In one breathtaking moment, one of the women said: “I know I am The One’. In truth, each of us knows : “I am The Only One who can carve out my life.”
I am The One who knows the truth that I carry inside. I choose to speak or silence the voice that I AM.
I am The One who determines the eyes through which I see. I choose the veil of history and repeat; or create the life that will emerge.
I am The One who knows a meaningful life from a practical one. I choose to be seen or fade inevitably into the shadows.
I am The One who creates the world that I call my own. I choose to sharpen the edges or allow my senses to be dulled.
I am The One who decides my fate. I choose LIFE or allow all that I carry to turn to dust.
I am The One. If not me, then who?
In two short days, each of us knew - in body, mind and spirit - that if it is to be, it’s up to me. If not me, then who?
If you’re life is to be, it’s up to you. If not you, then who?
Three years ago, in January 2006, I woke up and knew that I was no longer the same. Again, it plays itself out and I wonder: now what? I have a great sense of ‘knowing’ and yet no details. I trust completely and yet have no evidence to say that I should. And in these last two days, I have found myself in the company of others who have learned to trust the magic in themselves.
I am clear: the adventure has begun!
Breathing is good…
January 13th, 2009
Posted by
Louise |
Insights |
one comment
I am so present to those many, many moments in my life when I take a breath… exhale… and remind myself of the magnificence of my ‘imperfection’. For one whose life was driven for the first 30 years by being all that I thought others wanted me to be or would value….no, not true enough… would cherish me for being, I know well the dark despair that would press hard against my belly and chest and lock me into my tiny world. It seemed - and was, then - intelligent for me to hide myself away.
In those suffocating moments, I ‘knew’ that my life held no meaning to me/for me if it did not serve another. I ‘knew’ that being in service through intellect, will and skill were what made me welcome in the lives of others; what made me worthwhile and deserving of living, even in the puniest of ways. In those moments/days/weeks when I could not find it in myself to serve others, I could not be found by anyone else. I was buried so deep in my own self-loathing, my senses had shut down to all but my own small, frantic and repetitive inner voice of anguishing exhaustion, resentment and grief.
Long ago, my life changed - not in that there are no longer any such moments but in that I now hold those moments so differently. The magnificence of my ‘imperfections’ IS my call to awaken more deeply, in the truth of my Self. Without them, I stay lost in an external world that will only deplete me because I allow it to be so. With them, I discover a new world that sources and nourishes and sustains me - because I allow it to be so.
Over the years, it is not that these moments of ‘imperfection’ do not come, it is that (like you) I notice them more quickly, more easily and more lovingly and allow myself to move into them in full view of my world, rather than hide myself away until they release me from their death-grip. I have come to ‘know’ - without hesitation and without doubt - that my ‘imperfections’ ARE the gateways; and that without them, I am sentenced to a life without growth, without discovery and without the immense delight of always meeting the ‘more’ that is my destiny as a Quantum Biological Being!
I have discovered that as much as others can become ‘more’ with me in their lives, they are just fine without me. The question is: am I fine without me? Inevitably and mercilessly, the answers is always a resounding NO!
Choosing to live is choosing to recognize that I create it all - including my ‘imperfection’ of the moment that I might have guideposts…. markers on the treasure map of my own evolution… to embrace with fear, uncertainty and inner turmoil - but embrace, nonetheless. In that, greatness is born.
When women gather in small groups, talking… we do so in full recognition that WE ARE ALL OF IT! We are the grace and the elegance that invites and allows! We are the relentless and full force that presses - hard! - against the edges of our own limitations! We are the fierce roar of our own unwillingness to ever lose ourselves again! We are the open embrace that welcomes us - Self and other - home! And in combination of all of these, we are indeed the most powerful force to shape culture that has ever been known.
I, for one, am unwilling ever again in this lifetime to forget who I AM.
In this moment, I encourage you…
Remember who you are!
January 1st, 2009
Posted by
Louise |
Insights, leadership |
no comments
I’m amazed at what happens as these collectives grow and expand in ways beyond the imagination. My life continues to evolve in ways that at one point in my life I wouldn’t have thought possible and now…it’s simply what I expect. Imagine expecting nothing less than what I deserve in life for my own evolution?
Imagine being part of something where all that is required is to show up and simply be yourSelf? As new tribal members meet the excitement grows. What does my/our life look like as I/we continue to share with others the truth of our own experience?
Last night was an experience like so many others that I now have. While having a meaningful conversation on the phone with my friend Naomi, my friend Sarah arrives for a visit. Both women had only heard of each other up until the Women of Intensity Gathering at my office. It was easy to note the excitement in Naomi’s voice knowing that Sarah (a new found Ohana Tribal member and friend) was going to be engaging in meaningful conversation with me…and I’m sure that she realized that even though her physical presence may not have been there, she was there on a whole different level.
Both women incredible with so much to share with others. Last night I was the ‘other’ woman that they chose to share with and now, I share this experience with all of you. I sit here in my living room and know that even though the physical bodies of other women may not be seen here, I sense so many of my friends as I write. I’ll never be or feel alone again.
When women gather…by phone, Google Groups, small gatherings or any other way, miracles happen. I remember myself as well as others saying an expression that seems almost amusing to me now. “All we can do is pray for a miracle.” Well maybe then, maybe for others but what I know for mySelf is that every day that I wake up and get to live another day in a way which is meaningful to me (and possible touch someone else’s life), is a miracle. Did I have to stop and pray for it? No. I create my own miracles and it’s simply…’Miraculous.” 
I remember when I started this journey and it changed my life in ways that there are no words for. I wanted everyone to live as I was living knowing that not only my life had evolved but health issues disappeared. How could others not want what I had? How could others not embrace the genius of what I had discovered and was so willing to share with them? It’s quite simple. They’re not me and I was no different than they were before I discovered a different way of moving through the world.
What I realize now is that I have nothing to prove or justify to others. Rather I can be Honest - Open - Clear and Direct when someone asks, “So what are these programs/retreats/courses that you’ve taken?” I could become annoyed or share with them what I have experienced. In spite of the rolling of the eyes or the looks of disbelief, when I remember who I am and know that their body reactions are nothing more than them allowing their body to process what they’re hearing, there is no need for annoyance. What they do with the information is entirely up to them. And…I choose to continue to move forward in a direction that is meaningful and will feed my soul and the evolution of Self.
As I continue to share what I know and the truth of who I am, who knows where it will all lead and what I know is that if I don’t share…then I know what I can expect…Nothing. If I believe and I do believe that each and every one of us is magnificent, I would only be limiting mySelf and possibly would only ‘coast’ through my life in stead of experiencing my life to the fullest.
What if we were to stop being polite to others by having small conversations and allowed ourselves to have ‘engaging’ conversations all day and every day? What would our lives look like? What would others’ lives look like? Guess What? There’s only one way to find out.
I’m welcoming of other Ohana and am excited…wait a minute…SOOOO EXCITED at what lies ahead of me and better yet, at who I can become as I share the truth of who I am. And who am I?
I Am the Bold Vibration for Accelerated Change. (Care to meet with me)?
Hugs,
Amy
December 30th, 2008
Posted by
Amy McNaughton |
Groups, Insights |
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The email arrived December 18th. I opened it and read these simple lines:
I have no need for you to fix me or save me; I just like your company. Louise, thank you, for continuing to be the fiercest and the kindest person I have ever met.
My breath caught in my throat. I felt tears in my eyes. How strange to have someone notice and encourage that within me which is fierce. I know who I am - and now I know that she does, too. But perhaps what touched me most was how strange to have that of me which is fierce, held with the same warmth and appreciation as that of me which is kind.
In a flash, the image of the goddess Sekhmet filled my awareness. The image of a woman’s body with the head of a lioness. What a powerful image for the woman that I AM, and for the women that I am coming to know! The body of a woman (the capacity to love and nurture; to give birth and sustain and embrace) and the head of a lioness (the capacity to hunt, to destroy; cunning and wise; the willingness and ability to lead with an edge if and when required). Fiercely loving and fiercely holding ground!
How many women live their lives without a head? In today’s world, a woman is synonymous with her body; with its shape and size, with its desirability and availability. How many of us have bound ourselves to a life of ‘body’ only, often resulting in becoming the buffet from which those around us feed freely? How many of us have for so long denied the ‘head of the lioness’ that we ourselves, have lost our connection to and to all that it brings into our lives?
Rare is the moment in my world when a woman is seen to be fierce and it is welcomed. My life has been filled with so many women who have kept that aspect of themselves - that which is fierce and formidable - so deeply hidden even they could not find it. If it showed itself at all, it would manifest as outbursts of noise and flurry; or It would seep out as depression or anxiety or some unnamed, unclaimed agitation for which the prescription pad was the familiar and easy solution. And they would die a little more.
The woman who wrote that email is the same woman has found within herself her own fierce determination to live her life fully! With a diagnosis of cancer, the roar of her unwillingness to go quietly into the night, allowing her terror to lead, has become the torch that lights her way to find the line in the sand… each and every day of her life….that will not be crossed. Her life is hers to live, and she is clear: she’s here to live it large!
Sandy’s diagnosis could have been her invitation to lie down and die; to give up; to curl in on herself and allow her fear and dread to become the cocoon that would be her demise. Not this woman! On the last day of her second 5-day intensive, Sandy found her fury - unleashed in a powerful, awakened collective of women - and allowed herself to be claimed by it. The wave began with a roar, swept through the room and washed over all who were present. Not one soul present braced against or stiffened as the wave moved through them. Not one of them left the room or turned away. Not one of these amazing women interfered. Each, in her own way, relaxed into the fury… breathed… and knew that what would be awakened in them would become the force of who they are. In not time, the tears came, followed by a different roar - the roar of laughter! In less than five minutes, we had all become more.
In that moment, Sandy found her tribe. It was some time before she wrote about it on the Women Gathering Google Group, in a way that moved us all. Tribal Healing was born.
My own world has come to be shaped by ‘ohana’… the Hawaiian notion of family of choice. For me, ohana has a sense of wholeness. It is reminiscent of soft, curved lines that flow outward and make room for all to be embraced. It feeds me and sources how I live.
As I read Sandy’s note on finding her ‘tribe’, I was moved by the power of that word. The notion of ‘tribe’ is much more primal - much more ‘fierce’ - than that of ohana. Tribe is such a primary element, such an essential expression of our very being, as we are born into our first ‘tribe’ when energy takes form. Without tribe, we die.
The two notions have now come together in a much more powerful way! The notion of ‘ohana’ is the body of the woman; the notion of ‘tribe’ is the head of the lioness. Separate and unique, offering access to the full measure of the living forces that we are; and yet both are of the same being.
Ohana : long, soft, fluid lines that curve and expand. Tribe: straight lines, sharp angles and an edge that is formidable.
Ohana: expansive, expanding, making room to reach out and journey away from where we are. Tribe: deep roots, strong trunk, making it possible for the branches to grow yet still be safely held by the ‘ground’ from which it is sourced… and on which it stands.
Perhaps healing comes from Tribal Ohana… from the combination of what both bring into our lives. Perhaps in creating our experience of Tribal Ohana of choice, we claim it all: we claim that we are, too, fierce and kind with every breath - and unwilling ever to be anything less.
Around the world, women have no tribe. We flow ourselves into the tribe or ohana that exists, shaping ourselves to be like water moving through cracks left to us by whatever social frameworks have been designed. We seep into the smallest of spaces, making it impossible for others to see the full force of who we are, since we rarely, if ever, gather ourselves up. But what of a tribe of women? What of ohana that is large enough, welcoming enough and open enough to allow all of us to show up for our own lives?
Women Gathering Google Group is a space that invites Tribal Ohana …. the energy that is the goddess Sekhmet.. to come to life! It is a place where we no longer need to hide the ferocity of the fullness of who we are. It is a place that recognizes and welcomes that in the wholeness of who we are, there must be room for our fury and not just our loving, compassionate and gentle ways.
Sandy has found her Tribe - and so have I!
December 23rd, 2008
Posted by
Louise |
Insights, leadership |
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