There are times when my life leaves me breathless. This is one of those times.
Since July and my last Decloaking experience, my life has been shot out of a cannon! I think of those street racers who use nitrous oxide (or something like that!) for a burst of power that has them bridge the great divide between being just fueled and being jet propelled! Since July, I am jet propelled!
A blur of life – Decloaking; Alaska Cruise; creating the 20-cd set from Decloaking; Entrepreneurial Women; Day of Discovery, Engaging and Awakening Others… each of these inviting conversations far beyond any boundaries previously established. Each conversation ending by overlapping with what would (normally) be the next conversation at a higher order of thinking. But they’re not staying neatly packaged and are seeping through, one to the next.
I am very mindful of the metaphor that this is becoming in my life. No boundaries. Or the boundaries that appear are, in truth, artificial.
No required sequential, linear process. It is taking less and less for us to move more and more.
And it is all about women. Women gathering in small groups, talking…. but not about the frequently repetitive, often mind-numbing drivel that far too many of us have committed our lives to; but conversations that, like nitrous oxide, shoot us out of one reality and into another. As simple as that.
I declared some time ago that I was looking for those 10 women who would live large and live fully, standing unapologetically in the truth of the immensity of who they are. Not 10 women to be like me or do what I do; but 10 women unwilling to NOT be them… unwilling to NOT be fully present, fully awake and fully engaged in living their lives meaningfully – no matter what it takes.
They are slowly appearing. Women who are discovering the power of their own, simple truth. Women who are willing to be seen and heard for the truth of who they are. Women who are unashamed of non-compliance; unapologetic for being ‘out of alignment’ with expectations from family, employer, colleagues and friends; women who are choosing to trust the truth of their own experience rather than defer to the truth of another.
In these moments we discover that the truth…. OUR truth… shall indeed, set us free.
Free of our history. We are not the sum total of our experience, to date. We are much more!
Free of our habits. Our habits are designed to be in service to our intentions, not have us be in service to the habits that run our lives.
Free of our fear. Our fear of discovering that we are more than we have imagined carries with it the response-ability to redefine and redesign our lives.
No one can live our lives for us, although to be sure great efforts have been made for this to be so. Following mindlessly some doctrine of another era will doubtless leave us wondering why we bother getting out of bed in the morning!
Today, I had the great gift of being invited into the quiet thoughts of a smart, curious, courageous and powerful young woman who is just now discovering more of who and what she is. In her words, she wrote of marveling at the weather and noticing that on the holodeck of her experience, she is creating it all. Can that be? Are we truly that potent in the living of our own lives? Does what goes on outside of me mirror what is moving inside of me? In that realization comes the insight that we are the force that shapes it all – whether we like it or not; and we are the only force that can change the truth of our experience – whether we like it or not.
As a philosophy, that can make for an interesting conversation. As an experience of our ‘reality’, that can be both exhilarating and terrifying! How can I come to own the tumor in my belly and know that I have created, that, too? How can we step into those conversations and not be silenced by the uproar of ‘blaming the victim’? In order to ‘blame the victim’, we have to have a world view that says we are that victim. That is not my world.
And so it continues. Two weeks in Ottawa and then back to Oceanstone for the annual Whispers from Within Women’s Writing Retreat; and one more (my last) Day of Discovery in Halifax. And then, quietly closing loops that have long been present, in preparation of opening new ones that will guide me home.
I am drawing to me amazing women. Women of great force; women of strength of body, mind and spirit; women whose depth of love and caring is tempered with the Fire of their own passion to LIVE FULLY and LIVE LARGE! What greater gift can we be to another than to be the living expression of claiming ourSelves and the invitation to them to do so the same. Imagine! A world designed in abundance and endless potential. Does it get any better than that?
I am glad to be back. I have often thought of how so many women gather in small groups, talking… and have long known we have so much more to explore than what our lives have been. Rather than choosing to stand together in our misery – each seeking comfort in the assurance that they are not alone in that misery – we can choose to stand together in our curiosity and courage, unwilling to be less than who we know we are. Although we are the only ones who can carve out the path of our existence, we do not have to walk it alone.
There is more….
November 10th, 2008
Posted by
Louise |
Events, Groups, Insights, Outcomes |
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I was in a conversation today and realized that, for a second, I had no idea where I was and what day it was! I think that comes from a whirlwind of activity in my life over the last two weeks. And all of it with women gathering in small groups, talking….
It started with yet another experience of Emerging Futures: Entrepreneurial Women at Oceanstone. A small group of women gathered, talking…. about their lives, the worlds they lived in and the worlds they wanted to create. Talk about intense! Every day moved faster and was more expansive than the one before. Not so much about women coming to face-to-face with each other but women coming face-to-face with themselves. Sometimes slowly and sometimes with breakneck speed, but always with outstanding insights and discoveries.
It was interesting to me to notice that yet again, a theme emerged. This time, what we all shared was an awareness of the degree to which it is so easy to slip into the coma of attending more to a mate than to ourselves. And in the end, noticing that if we don’t have ourselves, we have nothing. Painful to discover yet deadly to ignore.
Women present to and for each other, not in a care-taking way but in a way that had strength and courage as its underpinnings. Women present to each other in recognition of their (each and every one of us) power… their acuity in knowing their own truth… their willingness to be present to and with themselves and each other. No wimps in this crowd!
Women wanting to know their truth; willing and able to stay in those really, really tough conversations that held the power to undo their world. Women standing alone… decloaked… with nothing between them and the truth of their own experience. All buffers gone. And yet there they were : magnificent in their imperfection and willing to own it all!
There were tears. Tears of grief. Lots and lots of grief. Tears of joy. Tears of frustration and anger and bitterness. Tears of dreams lost and yet others longed for. Tears of emptyness. Tears of togetherness. Tears of fatigue… the kind of bone-crushing fatigue that comes from decades of pretending and struggling to hold it all together. And tears of relief as it fell apart and we found ourselves still standing.
Explorations of where we had been and, more importantly, where we wanted to be. Journeys of personal evolution, no matter what the cost. NOT to take that journey would – and already had – cost far too much. What is the cost of a life unlived? And how can we ever get that back????
Tsunamis fed by letting go of years of waves kept in check. Tremors of truth that shattered illusions and also shattered the pretense of our reasons to stay small. Flashes of genius that lit up the pathways to discovering more of who we might become.
Every moment counted. Every breath opened a gateway to the next. Every whisper spoken and every voice heard. We left – no one untouched. And as the last day came to a close, I found myself wondering: ’Can my life be this magical???” And it is.
A day to rest and then on to the Day of Discovery in Halifax. Yet another experience of women gathering in a small group, talking…
Some familiar faces, with stories of perpetual growth and evolution. Some new faces, eyes more awake not only to the potential but to a new truth: it does not have to take a long time!
Acceleration. Going further, faster and with a greater sense of joy and ease. Aiming high – because we can. Moving fast – because we can. Flying has replaced walking – because we can.
As I lived this Day of Discovery, I was mindful of so many metaphors unfolding in the room. One moment would remind me that it’s time to let go. Another would be my invitation to notice what was meaningful to ME… and trust that each other woman there would find that for herself.
Noticing that each person in the room was an expression in a physical universe of some aspect of my own consciousness; embracing them all. One woman in particular, who as she listened to others tell the story of the transformation of their lives, could not hear their lives but heard only ‘rah rah WEL-Systems’. I felt a certain sadness in that I realized that I have to let go. Who am I to say who should and should not? I found myself encouraging her to trust herself…. to stay with what presented… and to know that it would take her home. I believe that – for me and for you – wherever it leads.
It was a good week.
Life is good!
October 31st, 2008
Posted by
Louise |
Events, Insights, Outcomes |
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I had a brief but life-enhancing conversation yesterday with a woman who is the mother of two young children. Having just recently experienced Decloaking… and living authentically, this courageous young woman was faced with an important moment with one of her children and in that moment, chose to trust herself.
Her very young son had just started nursery school. As he returned home one day from this fresh and new adventure, he told his Mom that he had a sore throat. As is her conditioning to do so, her immediate thoughts went to notions of disease (i.e. strep throat) and the need for a visit to the doctor and the likely corresponding course of treatment with pharmaceuticals. But in that moment… in a breath… she chose to stop and allow herself to recall all that she had experienced of herself.
In Decloaking, her journey of Self-discovery had been profound and life-altering. In this moment, she chose to bring that discovery into her life with her son and trust that he, too, is a magnificent being of energy and information in flow, divinely guided by the natural intelligence that lives as the essence of his being in a physical universe.
In this moment, she chose differently. Instead of presuming to know, she chose to discover.
“How was your day today?”… and then listened as her young child spoke of his day, eventually revealing that he “… did not know who to talk to today”. And with the insight sourced from her experience of herSelf and the deep connection that can only be sourced from a mother’s love for her child, she wrote her phone number on a piece of paper and handed it to her son. ”The next time you don’t know who to talk to, you just ask your teacher to call this number and you can talk to me!”
In that moment, a breath ripped through my chest, my eyes filled with tears and I felt my body open… from below the navel to just below the sternum… the place where my own children grew in my belly.. and I thought my chest would explode! If only we could all love our children this much!!
In that instant, her having discovered how to love herSelf became her permission to love him that much. That simple gesture… taking but a nano-second from her busy day… was a powerful message to her young son that he is not trapped in a friendless world; that he is not without resources and the ability to choose for himself; that he can handle it; and that he is not alone.
And as it is with children, it was over in a moment. She thought it was done as he tucked the paper in his pocket and began to walk away… until he turned around and said to her, “My throat doesn’t hurt anymore.”
Imagine a world where it is that simple to be well – because it is! And it can never be until it begins with me.
September 16th, 2008
Posted by
Louise |
Insights, Outcomes, leadership |
3 comments
It seems like such an insignificant thing – to sit and be still until another Life has exhausted all that they have to share – and yet, it profoundly changes lives.
Women gathered in a small group, talking… and in that moment, shared a pact to be present and listen as one woman spoke the truth of who she had become. This was no small feat, as the agreement was that we would gather and share space; that we would be fully present, attentive and engaged; and that we would be there for whatever it took. We agreed that we would not interrupt, interfere, prod, poke, question, encourage, etc… we would just be there.
If it took 20 minutes, that’s what it took. If it took 6 hours, that’s what it took. And we would be there, fully present, for it all.
I remember years ago being part of a facilitated process with about 100 people. At one point, the lead facilitator left and a woman began to speak. About 20 minutes later, the lead facilitator left and the same woman was still speaking. The facilitator was outraged! How dare this woman take up all this time; and how dare the sitting facilitator allow this to happen! In a fit of affronted expertise, this same facilitator then asked the group, as a way of berating the sitting facilitator: ”How many of YOU would have allowed this to go on?!” In that group of 100, I was the only one who put up my hand. When asked why I would do such a thing, I answered: ”I believe that when she’s done, she’ll stop.”
Not rocket science. When we empty the vessel of who we are, we’re empty. In that moment, the space exists for more of who we can become to begin to pour in and fill the space. I have had the privilege to be witness to these Sacred Story tellings time and again. They have been as short as 10 minutes; and one went for 5 hours. Each is unique. And, when they are authentic and fully engaged – both from the place of the Storyteller and from those who have gathered in a circle to bear witness – they are profoundly powerful, life-transforming and a great and deep honour to be called to bear witness.
“With a MUCH clearer sense of who I have been since ‘48 and how I’d been ‘leading’ (mostly NOT) my life, I feel much more connected to ME here-and-now. The ‘process’ of letting whatever comes out of my mouth to vibrate through me and hover in the air was pretty damn powerful! Well designed, Louise!
Massive movements continued on Saturday night and especially Sunday as more of the lies I’ve been living and random stuff that I was unwilling to see came into my awareness. Even this morning I was still feeling like my throat had been ravaged by a blowtorch, and the sensation of hot air coming out of my mouth made me feel dragonlike. (Not a great feeling, by the way.)
I feel a lot better (since) earlier this afternoon when … I sat down for a serious ‘talk’ (aka me pulling myself up to the table WITH my edges). I stated how much more connected and awake I am NOW and how I am going to stay that way; i was (untypically) frank about how I see ‘our past/recent years together’ today; and I was as clear as I could be about what I want going forward. And I’m very very aware that I’ve no idea where I’m heading AND I’ll be ok – because I’m going to remember who I am NOW and I’m going to choose ME. And this time ’round, I truly believe I will. This feels different, inside.
One woman’s life has profoundly changed… and no one did anything to her or for her or with her. She simply allowed herself to be fully present to the truth of her own experience and claimed the Sacred Space within which it flowed: herself. All that she touches will no longer be the same. The people she loves and engages will be awakened to her presence in a way unavailable before this moment. Her choices – and her future – are clearly in her own hands AND NOW, she can see that.
Women gathering in small groups, talking… is a Sacred Space within which we can reclaim the full measure of who we are. There is nothing to do but be present, be still and engage. In that moment, Life does what it knows best how to do: it awakens us to who we are capable of becoming and makes it possible for us to engage!
May 6th, 2008
Posted by
Louise |
Insights, Outcomes |
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We are such amazing creatures! I spend so much of my life with women and am constantly encouraged by our ability to detect the unseen, to hear the unspoken and to move that which appears to be immutable.
Amazing women. Powerful women. Women with innovative and unique ways to think about and talk about and engage. Women filled with intense passion and a desire to create, innovate and expand the expression of our humanity, for self and other.
Women who know a truth, buried deep and kept silent – but who know it nonetheless – and in spite of it all, continue to trundle through the ‘is’ of their lives rather than leave behind the people they care about. Women whose bodies have become a more powerful sensing instrument than anything that science has yet to create and who, despite this inner truth, choose to pretend they don’t know.
To me, this is like being an Olympic-calibre runner and choosing to nail one foot to the floor. We may get to move really, really fast AND it’s going to be painful and not get us very far. For sure, we’ll never be able to get our hands on the prize.
My search always is for the woman who is ready… the one who knows that it’s time to show up and be the truth of who she is. The one who recognizes that even though it may not be in her cultural conditioning, it is in her body to know that the only way she can ever create what she wants is to choose herself; that the only way she can ever give enough to her family is to choose herself; and that the people she loves will only discover how to love themselves when she has become the living model that makes it possible for them to know how.
I’m always looking for the woman who is ready…. the one who knows that ‘now’ is her time to lead; that leadership is an expression of the truth of who she is, not of what she knows or any templates or frameworks imposed by anyone else, no matter how well-meaning they may be; that her internal compass is the only one that will ever take her to where she is desperate to arrive.
I see them, time after time, and I am amazed at how comfortable they have become with hammer in one hand, nail in the other and a skilled and well-practised eye focused on the foot. Do we even notice when we’re doing this? Do we know how to name and claim that which contributes to our eagerness to start hammering… ensuring that we never really go very far or forget the pain? Do we think that this is in some way useful – to us or to anyone we care about? When you’re moving in a circle with your foot nailed to the floor , no matter how fast you go, you’re not going anywhere that you haven’t already been.
The women who work with me are few in number and immense in impact and potential. They change their lives and, from there, become a living example of what it is to change life. They change themselves and in so doing, become the ‘virus’ that invites change in others. They seep effortlessly into their collectives and communities, flowing through conversations and explorations, embracing the unknown and welcoming the invitation it carries to discover more of who they are – and who they might become.
The women who become willing to free themselves from their own bondage become the leaders in their own lives and in the lives of the people they care about. But, more importantly and more compellingly, they become the space within which others awaken to and discover the leader they are to become in their own lives…. and on and on and on it goes.
So, I wonder….. how have you nailed your foot to the floor? How many times in your life have you put aside what was/is deeply meaningful to you because someone else’s needs came into your awareness and became more important? How often have you become unwilling to hold to your commitment to yourself in the face of requests for you to commit to other things and other people? How often do you determine that it’s ok for you to have what you want/need as long as no one else wants it; or as long as having it does not cause someone else to notice their own unwillingness to take action in their lives? On the path to our full expression, there will always be distractions. The problems arise when we think that we should pay attention to them and engage them!
Women gathering in small groups, talking… often practice collective foot nailing – not because they want to, not because they have to, but simply because they know how to. What is familiar yet painful is often more attractive or bearable than what is unfamiliar, even though it will stop the pain.
I know these things intimately because I have lived these things… have been these things! I also took longer than many to discover that if I wanted to live, I would have to leave this practice behind – no matter what the cost. I have done so; have never looked back; and my life has never been more magical!
I, for one, am looking for the women who are ready to put down their hammers and discover what it feels like to really move!
April 24th, 2008
Posted by
Louise |
Insights, Outcomes, leadership |
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I spend a lot of my life with women gathering in small groups, talking… in person, on the phone, via email; from 5 minute chats to 5-day, in-depth explorations of potential and everything in between. During those conversations, it’s not unusual for women to explore what it takes for them to be ‘happy’… for them to wake up in the morning and be delighted by that simple fact : “I love being me!”
Clearly, a longer conversation ensues, starting with an exploration of what ‘happy’ means to each individual. What they quickly discover is that ‘happy’ is a label for something that is exceedingly personal to each one of us. One person’s ‘happy’ is another’s ‘challenge’ so we invest a good chunk of our curiosity wandering around in that for a while, seeking to discover what really lights us up!
We do eventually come to a realization that ‘happy’ is a state of being that can be maintained by a few simple and essential truths of living – and here they are. You’ll likely be surprised to discover that it does not have to take a lot of effort, does not have to be difficult and starts with a few simple things:
- Breathe – easily, regularly and deeply. Notice when you’re holding your breath and when you do, don’t beat yourself up for doing it wrong – just be gentle with yourself. Take two or three long, slow deep breaths and move on.
- Tell the truth. Not the one you think someone else wants to hear, but the one that fills your body. The struggle is not in knowing what the truth is – it’s in trying to figure out how to pretend that we don’t.
- Trust your instincts. Just follow the roadmap that your body offers you every minute of every day of your life and let the details get worked out as you go.
- Don’t say ‘yes’ when you want to say ‘no’! What else can be said about that? Plain and simple – and will change your life.
- Stay in the tough conversations. Even when they’re uncomfortable, trust yourself to move through the conversations that you’ve been avoiding for hours, days or decades. The longer you’ve been pushing it away, the more important and life-altering you can be sure it will be.
- Choose what is meaningful to you. Not the ‘right’ thing or the ‘good’ thing or the ‘appropriate’ thing but the one that lights you up and makes you smile! The choices you make create the quality of the life you’re living. How do you like it so far?
Every day, I wake up and love being me! Every day, I take a few minutes to lie in bed and ask myself: ‘How does the lifeforce that I am choose to express myself today? How does the lifeforce that I am choose to live today?” – and then I get on with it, knowing that tomorrow i can change my mind and do something different.
And so can you.
April 1st, 2008
Posted by
Louise |
Insights, Outcomes |
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Marie just checked in on her blog about her experience at the Emerging Futures: Entrepreneurial Women experience. Wow! She’s down 20 pounds… and so much more! I, for one, am looking forward to the months to come as she blogs of her discoveries from this small group of women gathering, talking… and changing their worlds!
You don’t have to do it alone.
March 3rd, 2008
Posted by
Louise |
Events, Groups, Insights, Outcomes |
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A group of women gathered at Oceanstone, in a small group, talking… about important things, things that profoundly touched our lives and presented as massive invitations for us to stay true to our Self or to, once again, lose ourselves in how it has always been. (See today’s entry for my Emerging Futures blog.) The seduction of the past – of that which is familiar, bringing us some bizarre sense of comfort in its mindless repitition and perceived predictability – invites us to rely on illusion for our sense of control in the present and in defining the future.
Not so with this small group of (in my experience) truly courageous, curious and relentless women! Each in her own way was willing to stay with the sense of chaos in her body; with the daily turmoil that wracked the body and created the polarities of ‘How can this be????” and “How can this NOT be????” Finding the truth of who we are, somewhere in that upheavel, is always what the journey is about.
Their lives, and mine, have been changed. In our four days together, we laughed and cried; we challenged, rejected and embraced; and we stood tall in our own turmoil and trusted that it would lead us to where we needed to go. Not that the intellect or knowledge would lead, but that the body would lead… and as we surrendered to what appeared and relaxed into our own uncertainty, we would be just fine.
Not always fun, not always easy and frequently causing some of us to wonder : what are we doing here? – we stayed in those tough conversations and came out the other side. And that’s what it takes.
I can’t even remember how many times I made the comment: “Read the book.’ Simple. Start there and see where it takes you. And if you’re not willing to read the book, it’s not likely that you’ll ever be willing or able to follow the path that takes you to a new paradigm. As we talked about that, we all realized that it’s not about the book – it’s about the choice to read it equating with a conscious choice to choose life, differently. Once that door is opened, it’s close to impossible for it ever to close again.
It was one of the most potent experiences of my life! I know that it was equally so for the other women present. I also know that each of us went home and that all those in our lives have already been touched by who we have become. And they, in turn, will touch the lives of others just by being themselves. Our evolution is indeed, yet another gift that keeps on giving.
During that week, I was mindful every single day of the power of contagion of an awakened collective. Here we were – women gathering in a small group, talking… – choosing to be in each other’s company as we stood determined in our intention to find ourselves. And so we did, even when it would have been so much easier to just stop looking! I also know that given the power of contagion of this awakened small collective, the world has already changed.
Does this mean that we now have an obligation to do something to the world? Not in my books! I believe that the reason we were able to make such huge leaps in our own lives is precisely because each of us was there for our Self. As in all great things, we engage because doing so brings such great joy! Anything else is a bonus.
And so, here I sit, in awe of what has transpired. As I’ve written elsewhere, I am clear that these Emerging Futures conversations, particularly at this depth and pace, require that paradigm shift to occur, first. Anything less, and the pressure will be too intense to resist settling for so much less just to find a sense of peace in our mediocrity.
Women gathering in small groups, talking… IS the most potent force I know. Imagine if we knew that and chose to engage it mindfully. And it’s just a conversation…
February 25th, 2008
Posted by
Louise |
Books, Events, Insights, Outcomes |
one comment
Yesterday, at the invitation of Sheila Winter Wallace, women gathered in a small group, talking… about their experience of who they are as women in business. The invitation was for us to come together and discover what a powerful conversation would sound like for us, as business women.
It was one of those rare occasions for me when I had the absolute luxury of sitting silent in the Program Room, listening as each of these unique, potent forces slowly and steadily opened the door wider and wider that we might all catch a glimpse of the soul that fires the passion. Without the need to advise each other, or guide each other to discovery, women shared what was meaningful to them and became a living invitation for the others to explore that same thought, within themselves.
It began as many things begin – slowly, haltingly, seeking to get the ‘lay of the land’ before taking a first step forward. It ended as great things often do, with women eager to engage and share yet one more thing before our time came to a close. Many lingered long after the morning ended, clearly ready to make the bigger leap to…. something!
If I were to identify the three things that took the greatest form during the three hours, they would be:
* being authentic – being able to create a successful business that would honor who the person was, rather than the person having to redesign herself in order for that business to succeed;
* being connected – knowing that there are other women who share the desire to be authentic AND are willing to take the risk to do what is required for connections to awaken and deepen; and
* being able to trust that the truth is more valuable than the veneer – seeking and finding those others (clients and colleagues, alike) who are welcoming of something more meaningful in business.
Each of the women who spoke – sometimes, with heart pounding in her chest and voice cracking – did so from a deep desire to reveal herself and to ensure delivery of the message: that this kind of conversation was indeed, a meaningful and powerful one; and that she welcomed the opportunity and wanted more!
A deeply personal moment unfolded for me as I had the opportunity to hear six women that I’ve worked with over the years (some as recently as the last 12 months and some for 2 years and more) step into the conversation and share the truth of their experience. When they spoke, the vibration in the room changed. Their voices were strong, clear and definite. They spoke without hesitation and without need of permission from anyone. Without the need to have the answers, they were committed to engaging the larger questions in their lives; and were willing to trust that although they may not yet know the details of their journey, they would be fine in trusting that it would take them to where they wanted to go: each inextricably connected to herSelf.
When they spoke, the room fell silent. When they finished speaking, the silence lingered in the room as the vibration of their sound echoed through those of us listening. It was entrancing for me to bear witness to these magnificent women in full flight! I know, in every fibre of my being, that they are already changing their world, and that of all who come in contact with them. I am honoured to journey with them.
And so, there it is: yet another moment of women gathering in small groups, talking… and changing their worlds in three short hours! Already, dates are set for two more such events in Ottawa (contact Sheila@actandinspire.com for info) and the rumblings of women gathering can already be heard. I’ll be gathering with a small group of Entrepreneurial Women at Oceanstone in February, each of them eager to press the edges and discover how to manifest a successful business as a conduit for accelerated change – for self and other.
What conversations are you having these days?
January 20th, 2008
Posted by
Louise |
Groups, Insights, Outcomes |
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