I got an email today from a woman who will be creating/becoming the attractor for women gathering in small groups, talking… in January. She’s an amazing woman and will bring much to the lives of anyone she engages with.
There was a time when I would have encouraged her to gather with this small group of women and simply open the conversation from who she has become, as a living model of the invitation for others in the room to do the same, for themselves. I realized today, as I read her note, that as wonderful as that is (she is very skilled and is a WEL-Systems Catalyst) it will not go far enough, deep enough and fast enough to pave the way for accelerated change.
There was a time when I would invite others to consider reading Fully Alive or listening to the Women and Power CD’s, recognizing that if they chose not to, so be it. What I am now bold and brazen about is that choosing not to do so is fine by me AND I’m choosing to work only with the ones who do. The books and CD’s not only educate and inform, they prod and poke and provoke… ensuring that when I enter a conversation with the women who have read the agreed-upon chapter or have listened to the cd, we have significantly raised the bar on the starting point for our conversation. There is great power – and acceleration – in the state that comes with the flow of discovery and insight from having read and/or listened.
When women with WEL-Systems experiences (ITS, Leadership Retreats, CODE Model Coaches, Catalysts, etc) come together and just talk, the world changes! They step into these convesations with a capacity to be open, clear, honest and direct; and are willing to move forward with intensity of intention so that they reshape their lives. Without new knowledge/information; without new questions to ponder and insights to evolve into, we are destined to have the same old conversation, the same old way. I don’t know about you, but I have no time for that anymore.
There is a process that will inform, expand and accelerate evolution. It is proven, predictable (in its impact – not its content) and easy to engage. We can engage it, or we can do what we’ve always done. The choice is always ours to make.
So, I’ll keep you posted on what happens in January with my colleague. Who knows what path she’ll walk with these women in her life! If they’re willing, we’ll share their journeys here, with all of you, so that you can discover what’s possible.
I’ll be with women gathering in a small group, talking… in January for the Women Awakening evening event in Ottawa (see my schedule for details). We’ll have three hours to get to the heart of what matters to each of us and determine how to create the results we want. That’s what acceleration is all about : it doesn’t have to be hard and take a long time!
So, if you’re already a WEL-Woman (a woman experienced in living life from a WEL-Systems perspective), look around and consider how many of the women you come in contact with are looking for more? And if this is all new to you and you’re interested, drop me a note and let me know where you live. I’ll do my best to connect with you someone in your geographic area. And if we can’t find someone, I’ll create an online process for people to engage in with me so that you can be part of this wave of women gathering, no matter where you live.
Woman are taught to hang back, wait their turn, check the lay of the land, watch what others are doing, wait to be invited, etc. . In this process, the key is to ask for what you want! You’ll be amazed at how many people want you to have it!
Women gathering in small groups, talking… and today, there were 7 of us. From 28 to 60, we spent over four hours discovering more about ourselves through provocative and compelling conversations with each other. At the end, we left with a greater sense of who we are and a an experience of intimacy – with self and with other – that is an undeniable truth in the body.
Today, as the conversations unfolded, I became aware that women are the glue that hold together the pieces of our lives, including our way of living. Over time and on a large scale, we call this ‘culture’.In our living, organic collectives (like our family, community, groups of colleagues/friends, etc.), women are the glue that allows things to be held together, as they are. In order for life to continue as it does, we must be willing to keep doing what we’re doing.
We keep our relationships together far too often by denying our own truths.
We keep our family together by denying our own needs.
We go along to get along rather than suffer the consequence of confrontation that would likely come with our choosing otherwise.
We suffer in silence rather than engage and risk irritating someone… anyone!
We compromise what is meaningful to us in the name of keeping the peace.
We deprive ourselves of our own interests rather than have someone else feel any kind of upset.
We talk ourselves into believing that our sacrifices are essential to making it better or different. The paradox is that it only gives us more of the same!
I am mindful that all human beings – men or women – are capable of such things. The difference is that for women, we’re brought up to believe that it’s our job! We’re trained into thinking that to be ‘woman’ is to be these things, as an essential part of our nature. Not so!
Today, there was much truth-telling that went on around the table. Not truth about another but truth about self. The kind where I tell my truth about me instead of my truth about you. The kind of inner truth that once told, is often followed by waves of tears or laughter, and a heavy sigh of relief. It takes a lot of energy to be the glue that holds a lie in place. And we explored one of the biggest lies: the myth of the intact family.
That’s a tough one! Particulary since all other living organic systems are formed from the pattern of our early family systems (or their opposite!) and are found everywhere – in our churches, our schools, our work environments, etc. There is no escaping this simple truth. We are each a chip off the old block of the generation that came before.
We also explored how difficult it can be to wake up from these systems and how much it takes to stay awake when all around us is designed to put us back to sleep! Nonetheless, we persisted… the waves moved… and yet another veil fell away, making it possible for us to see more clearly – and let go. Letting go of what I have makes it possible for me to uncurl my fingers from my death-grip on my ‘reality’ and make room for something different. In order for me to receive something new, my hand must open to create the space within which to receive.
For more on the impact of our early family systems on the lives we create for ourselves as adults (Nested Living Systems™), check out Fully Alive: Awakening Health, Humor, Compassion and Truth. We had a different kind of conversation today because we were willing to let ourselves know that other truth that lingered just below the surface.
Like doing a will does not cause you to die sooner, discovering that deeper, lingering truth does not cause your life to fall apart. However, allowing ourselves to know will, most definitely, expand who we become.
The notice went out today to a number of women to let them know about this area. I know that in that group, there are at least 20 women who are already adept at creating and engaging in conversations by gathering women in small groups, talking… and transforming their lives! Anita Allen of WELsprings commented on my first posting – and I’m delighted she’s here!
Anita is in the Toronto area and has been working with women for a long time. She knows how to engage in those conversations with small groups of women, using the Women and Power cd’s and/or the Fully Alive book, or the Sekhmet Rising book (Anita is one of the 17 contributing authors to the Sekhmet Rising book) to evoke new thoughts and propel the conversation far beyond the ‘norm’ of story-telling about our lives. Anita’s life is evidence of her capacity to engage and transform!
Perhaps Anita will also invite some of the women she worked with to share their experience here, sharing how simple the process can be. It does not have to be complex to be potent. Besides, having met some of these women, I would be very curious to know how they’re doing! I’ll look forward to having Anita share the wisdom of her experience in having created these opportunities, and the impact on her life and the lives of the women she worked with, that we might know how simple it can be and how potent the results.
In my 17+ years of engaging with women, I know how desperate so many women (and men) are to engage in powerful, meaningful and provocative conversations that will redirect their lives. We don’t have to wait for a master or a guru or a coach or leader to show us the way. We ARE the way – we just need to engage! The WEL-Systems based materials will do the tough stuff and make it possible for those seemingly scarey conversations to take place.Thanks, Anita… hope to see you again soon.
On September 13, 2007, on my blog ‘Women and Emerging Futures’, I wrote:
Women talk. It’s what we do. It’s also one of the things we do best.We come together in small clusters and we talk about the things that matter to us. We talk about the people we care about. We talk about our dreams and the things that get in the way. We talk about what we love and what we hate. We talk about our children, and their children, and how their worlds are working or not.
So essential to who we are is our desire to talk that it has long been the butt of jokes, held up for scorn and ridicule, and made fun of in sitcoms, cartoons and the movies. So compelling is its impact on all of our lives that the simple act of choosing NOT to speak, in and of itself, wreaks havoc and causes great distress to the people around us. In our stony silence, the absence of what we do so naturally becomes the punishment that others must endure.
We are not just talking to hear the sound of our own voice – we are shaping our worlds.
The very act of women gathering in small groups is a force for profound change; a process that transforms lives. Imagine a world in which women from all walks of life; from every geographic location and every religious, political and economic strata, begin to notice that what they talk about and how they talk about it is already having a massive impact on the quality of their lives – whatever their perception of that outcome. What they focus their attention on strengthens and deepens their ‘reality’.
Imagine a world in which women recognize and claim this force AS a force! Recognize and claim that it is possible to create these small gatherings of women with the intention of raising the bar on what we talk about; exploring what is deeply meaningful to us and recognizing that we can redirect our attention to create what we want rather than invest time, energy/emotion/intention on what we don’t!
It begins with one woman who decides she wants diffierent conversations…more potent and powerful ones!…that allow her to discover the full measure of who she is. Conversations that invite her to break free from the burden of history and cultural conditioning and redesign her life. This one woman becomes the seed for a new collective; a small gathering of women who share her desire to become more. It begins with you!
We don’t need to know what we’re looking for – we just need to be willing to begin the search and open ourselves to the process of discovery.
In the coming months, this site will become a gathering place for women who seek to expand their lives; and who are willing to step up and become the invitation for other women to to do the same.
I created ‘Sekhmet Rising: The Restlessness of Women’s Genuis’ as a platform for the voices of other women. We have important things to share with each other! This book became a project that allowed for ‘safety in numbers’ as these 17 women made the choice to decloak and reveal themselves to the world. In doing so, the lives of many, many other women were profoundly touched by this simple act of speaking up and speaking out.
In the coming weeks, we’ll be adding Regular Contributors to this community, inviting the voices of women to bring insight and wisdom, queries and challenges, fears and triumphs for all of us to discover more of ourselves. Here’s how to make sure you don’t miss a thing!
- RSS Feeds are available for both Entries and Comments. Take the time to figure out how to make them work for you so that you don’t miss a thing!
- Share this site with the women in your life. Tell them about what you’ve discovered and invite them to consider it for themselves. Although they may choose not to, they can’t consider what they don’t know exists!
- Engage! When you read something that touches you, moves you, angers you, puzzles you… take the time to submit your Comment. You can be sure that you’ll be seen, heard and acknowledged.
- Watch for coming Process pages on how you can become the Attractor/Creator for a small group of women to gather, talking…and changing their worlds. Instead of waiting for someone else to do it, be the one that takes the first step to a life-altering experience.
- Watch for coming Tools pages on what books/audio materials to use and how to use them to guide you and keep you company as you break new ground for you and the women you care about. Let the books/cd’s help you do the tough digging so you don’t have to.
I believe that women are the key to the future. I aslo believe that each of us matters and is a unique piece int the puzzle of our colletive community. I learned long ago that far too often, women wait too long before drawing the line in the sand! In this ongoing conversation, we’ll explore what it takes to be willing to stand and claim our ground – and hold the line.
I look forward to being here with all of you!