I recently facilitated my first program of Decloaking and Living Authentically in September of 2008. As a certified CODE Model™ Coach, I was invited by Louise LeBrun of the WEL-Systems® Institute in Kanata, Ontario to make this program my own. I have discovered, both as participant and facilitator that this 5-day, open-forum intensive, designed to uncover what I do not know that I not know about myself, which drives my behaviour out of my awareness, is not an easy walk in the park that begins and winds its way back to an exit adjacent to its entrance with little change in the view. It is, instead, a constant and rugged trek up the mountain with each successive step up, in the climb, pivotal to increasingly clearer views on the way to the summit. The great thing is that the summit becomes, yet, another mountain with, yet again, another rigorous trek up. The paradox for me is this: I have discovered that the higher I climb, the easier and the more certain my footing gets. There is always more.
My own personal discoveries over the five days were massive, incredible and have opened me for more. I have been self-employed for 30 years in a variety of pursuits that I have liked; however, I have never, before, known the sheer joy of ‘working’ as evolutionary and transformative to my life and my well-being – that comes with simply showing up for self. This is not something that I do; it is who I am. My one and only purpose is to rouse myself in the engagement of others who choose, by and for themselves, to step into their own unique experiences. I show up without agenda, program notes, nor expressed itinerary, other than to engage. I become the model for space, movement and flow so that others are invited to become the same. I become the model for what is possible as an emerging future when I trust the genius of my body and the information that it carries, so that others are invited to become that, too. I become the metaphor for what is, as yet, unknown potential… so, too, do others. And… as I move, ever awakening, through my moment-to-moment experience of my body response, I awaken even more… so, too, do others. As the rigor of the trek up the mountain becomes more, so, too, do I experience myself as that. In every moment of engagement, I am the ‘more’ that I am becoming. Does it get any better that this? My answer is a resounding yes.
What I have discovered for myself is that the program is, itself, the model for being instead of doing. I am my own truth of my own experience of my own program. When I AM, then I can do what I choose to light me up in remembering that; then I will have what I want. This is the reverse of prevailing and current thinking that induces even more sleep in the already walking ‘dead’: if I, first, have, then I can do, then I can be. This is, undeniably, the recipe for struggle. It is tantamount to the tail wagging the dog! Yet, when I remember who I AM and when I know what I want and when I am willing to surrender to what is unknown as possibility for me made manifest, I stir up my self-experience as one, which is fully live… and easy. Nothing to do, nothing broken, nothing to fix, nothing wrong. Everything unfolds as it should. I trust myself always… in all ways.
I am so ready for my next magical experience! I know that Decloaking and Living Authentically is me becoming me and me becoming more, moment to moment. My gratitude for these adventures within myself is enormous.
We give up on ourselves so easily. We’re bopping along, having moments of great freedom where we notice that the intellect has not been in charge - and we’re still alive! – and then we hit the wall.
The wall of rage and self-loathing and despair. All that great work… all those moments of great genius seem to just drift out of our lives, like so much smoke on a stiff breeze… and we’re left with nothing but the truth of who we are.
Truth is a tricky thing. Is it the truth that was or the one that we want it to be? Is it my truth or a truth that is my legacy from a time long past? Is this a truth that I am choosing to embrace or one that seems stuck to me like gum on the sole of my shoe? Is it a truth that when embraced, will allow me to become more… or one that will snap tight the padlock on the chest of my own potential? Truth is not as simple as it might appear, at first glance.
And then there is the truth that I carry that is about punishment… getting even… profoundly committed to my own destruction of Self in a physical world to press the point that the much younger me still has not gratified. This is one of the more potent and powerful truths as it comes with the reckless abandon that only a child can fully embrace… being willing to do whatever it takes to ‘prove’ a point – even if it kills me in the process.
Getting past this dark, seething, foaming mass of rage, terror and the deep desire to be lovable and loved, can only come from one place: the moment of choosing to be more than my history… more than my ‘issues’… more than what my experience has dictated for so many years. In that one moment – the moment of standing at the dotted line of the Quantum Biological Human™ and choosing to engage myself as that Quatum Biological Human – the potential for greatness awakens and reaches out to pull me into my own life. It really is that easy.
Greatness is a choice. Greatness of heart and soul and spirit. Greatness of courage and curiosity; of willingness and ability. Greatness stands in our choice of living fully rather than in our habit of waiting to be fixed or rescued. Greatness lives in the next breath that we take and the choice that comes with it.
Can we stand it? Can we stand the boundless nature of our lives when we live them without fear and rage and self-loathing? Can we get past the terror of knowing that our lives are up to us… that we’re ‘IT” and that we shape our experience as we go, moment to moment, choice to choice? Can we let go of that long-ago, deeply entrenched desire/need to have someone else take care of it…take care of us… even when we know the price tag is so high?
The only truth that we can trust completely and without exception is that the body never lies. When we’re willing to listen, the path is laid out and we are nudged forward, into what can be.
I’ve long known the power of the simple, unassuming process of women gathering in small groups, talking…..
I’ve long known of the unbelievable force for shaping culture that is the process of women gathering in small groups, talking…
I recently received the information below in an email from a friend. I have no idea who sent it to her – and I share it with you as an example of the impact that we… that women… can have when we choose to talk about what we want rather than what life has handed us; what we care about that is deeply meaningful to us and engage what’s required for it to present; and what we are choosing to manifest rather than exploring what we have been burdened with. My apologies to the author of the thoughts below… and thanks for sharing them.
[The] Alaska Women Reject Palin rally was to be held outside on the lawn in front of the Loussac Library in midtown Anchorage . Home made signs were encouraged, and the idea was to make a statement that Sarah Palin does not speak for all Alaska women, or men. I had no idea what to expect.
The rally was organized by a small group of women, talking over coffee. It made me wonder what other things have started with small groups of women talking over coffee. It’s probably an impressive list. These women hatched the plan, printed up flyers, posted them around town, and sent notices to local media outlets. One of those media outlets was KBYR radio, home of Eddie Burke, a long-time uber-conservative Anchorage talk show host. Turns out that Eddie Burke not only announced the rally, but called the people who planned to attend the rally “a bunch of socialist baby-killing maggots,” and read the home phone numbers of the organizers aloud over the air, urging listeners to call and tell them what they thought. The women, of course, received some nasty, harassing and threatening messages.
I felt a bit apprehensive. I’d been disappointed before by the turnout at other rallies. Basically, in Anchorage , if you can get 25 people to show up at an event, it’s a success. So, I thought to myself, if we can actually get 100 pe ople there that aren’t sent by Eddie Burke, we’ll be doing good. A real statement will have been made. I confess, I still had a mental image of 15 demonstrators surrounded by hundreds of menacing “socialist baby-killing maggot” haters.
It’s a good thing I wasn’t tailgating when I saw the crowd in front of the library or I would have ended up in somebody’s trunk. When I got there, about 20 minutes early, the line of sign wavers stretched the full length of the library grounds, along the edge of the road, 6 or 7 people deep! I could hardly find a place to park. I nabbed one of the last spots in the library lot, and as I got out of the car and started walking, people seemed to join in from every direction, carrying signs.
Never, have I seen anything like it in my 17 and a half years living in Anchorage. The organizers had someone walk the rally with a counter, and they clicked off well over 1400 people (not including the 90 counter-demonstrators). This was the biggest political rally ever, in the history of the state. I was absolutely stunned. The second most amazing thing is how many people honked and gave the thumbs up as they drove by. And even those that didn’t honk looked wide-eyed and awe-struck at the huge crowd that was growing by the minute. This just doesn’t happen here.
It looks harmless enough: a small group of women gathering, talking… clustered around the kitchen table… sipping tea or coffee… and awakening to their unwillingness to do nothing about their lives. And in an instant, something happens!
We are witnessing the power of contagion of an awakened collective. We are also witnessing one of the most powerful forces that shapes culture – and women are the key.
It’s been an incredible week-end! Women gathering in a small group, talking… and bearing witness to the rapid, profound and generative change that can sweep through us – body, mind and soul – in the blink of an eye and transform our lives.
On Saturday, a small group came together to bear witness to Linda’s decloaking to the Sacred Story of how she got to be who she is. With a reverence for the inherent power of our histories, we engaged in active silence as she allowed us into her life in a way that made it possible for her to let go and move on from her history. In her own words:
I want to thank Louise, Sheila, Lucy, Lisa, Sandra and MJ for their presence in the validation of my sacred story. I am blessed to have you all in my life.
I now understand the Godforce that I am. I have always honored and looked up to the external “God” and NOW realize I AM the Godforce. I believed that something outside of myself was keeping me alive, NO, NOT ANYMORE. I am totally connected to what has kept me alive thru all of my horrid experiences and not some outside source as I believed it to be.
I am FREEEEEEEEE!!! Free of resentment, fear, hatred, rage, shame and open to new possibilities. Open to the new me and can’t wait for the new discoveries and what I will manifest in my life. I feel like the energizer bunny, there is no stopping me now, get ready world, cause here I come. Wow, Louise was right when she said that the telling of my story would create room and movement to get ready for Manifesting. Shit, I hope the program room can handle all the vibrating that’s goin on….Hold on, I’m coming!
Thank you one and all for honoring me with your presence and love.
It doesn’t have to be hard or take a long time. It can happen in a breath… in a conversation… in an insight found in the presence and safety of women awake. It changes lives, open doors and awakens potential long inaccessible.
Women awake, awakening other women.
It’s good to be alive!
… we have another new contributor to the Women Gathering blog!
A warm welcome to Naomi Irons from New Glasgow, NS. In her own words:
I am a woman attempting to live life as a true expression of who I am; and a massage therapist on a journey using this profession as a platform to engage in conversations for self-healing by connecting to the body at a new level.
Motivated by her recent experience of Decloaking…and living authentically, Naomi’s enthusiasm for her own life and desire to engage with other women in finding theirs, has encouraged her to take that first step to put voice to her discoveries through the process of blogging. You can find Naomi’s blog on the Women Gathering Blogroll. Here’s an example of what you’ll find:
Allowing the Body to Lead
I had an experience yesterday that made me stop- and NOT think.
I was working with a colleague on a workshop we have coming up and I was trying to get my ‘point across’ to her about the WEL-Systems experience. I could see that she was struggling with it intellectually so I checked in with my body and then got her to lay down. From here I delivered the material in a meditative format and I could sense that she was allowing it to process.
During our discussion later she realized that when she was sitting up she felt like she was a student trying to analyze and make ‘sense’ of what I was saying. When she was laying down her body was metabolizing and processing the material at a cellular level. WOW! Once again I am reminded that the body does need to lead and the intellect need not get in the way!
No wonder I have NEVER felt comfortable delivering material to people’s intellect- for me now it is about allowing the body to process and then open it up to discussion about what arose for myself and others. The intellect cannot shut new ideas down when they are already rolling around in the body. Ask the question “what do I feel’ not ‘what do I think’!!! and the answer will come from the authentic source.
We look forward to more!
I had a brief but life-enhancing conversation yesterday with a woman who is the mother of two young children. Having just recently experienced Decloaking… and living authentically, this courageous young woman was faced with an important moment with one of her children and in that moment, chose to trust herself.
Her very young son had just started nursery school. As he returned home one day from this fresh and new adventure, he told his Mom that he had a sore throat. As is her conditioning to do so, her immediate thoughts went to notions of disease (i.e. strep throat) and the need for a visit to the doctor and the likely corresponding course of treatment with pharmaceuticals. But in that moment… in a breath… she chose to stop and allow herself to recall all that she had experienced of herself.
In Decloaking, her journey of Self-discovery had been profound and life-altering. In this moment, she chose to bring that discovery into her life with her son and trust that he, too, is a magnificent being of energy and information in flow, divinely guided by the natural intelligence that lives as the essence of his being in a physical universe.
In this moment, she chose differently. Instead of presuming to know, she chose to discover.
“How was your day today?”… and then listened as her young child spoke of his day, eventually revealing that he “… did not know who to talk to today”. And with the insight sourced from her experience of herSelf and the deep connection that can only be sourced from a mother’s love for her child, she wrote her phone number on a piece of paper and handed it to her son. ”The next time you don’t know who to talk to, you just ask your teacher to call this number and you can talk to me!”
In that moment, a breath ripped through my chest, my eyes filled with tears and I felt my body open… from below the navel to just below the sternum… the place where my own children grew in my belly.. and I thought my chest would explode! If only we could all love our children this much!!
In that instant, her having discovered how to love herSelf became her permission to love him that much. That simple gesture… taking but a nano-second from her busy day… was a powerful message to her young son that he is not trapped in a friendless world; that he is not without resources and the ability to choose for himself; that he can handle it; and that he is not alone.
And as it is with children, it was over in a moment. She thought it was done as he tucked the paper in his pocket and began to walk away… until he turned around and said to her, “My throat doesn’t hurt anymore.”
Imagine a world where it is that simple to be well – because it is! And it can never be until it begins with me.
Yet another amazing woman has chosen to share her thoughts and discoveries here, with all of us.
Susan Bremner will be joining Women Gathering as a Contributor. A CODE Model Coach and contributing author to the Sekhmet Rising book, Susan is a professional sports coach whose passion is working with others to help them discover their own unique potential. In her life, Susan engages with those who are her students as well as in powerful conversations with other coaches. To give you an example, here’s a recent post on new insights along the path of her own journey of personal evolution:
I was thinking back to a conversation that I had had with Bill just as the Summer Olympics were drawing to a close. He had asked me something to the effect of, being an athlete and sports coach, what was it that had drawn my attention during the games. I expressed that, usually, I like to watch the more creative and artistic events such as artistic and rhythmic gymnastics, trampoline and synchronized swimming. Yet, this time I was drawn (often just by an impulse to turn on the TV to see what was happening) to those athletes who were “way out ahead or in front” of the other athletes. I was particularly engaged, animated and excited by the performances of those such as the US men’s swimmer Michael Phelps, the men and women’s marathon winners, and Usain Bolt in the men’s 100 m track and field race.
I thought about what it was that had attracted my attention to these athletes. I asked myself what was meaningful and important for me and tears came to my eyes, as I became aware of what this holographic picture was reflecting back to me. I have always had a strong desire to be out in front, to be a pioneer, to demonstrate my personal best, to forge ahead of the crowd. I realized that these athletes were running their own race far ahead of the other competitors. They were not measuring themselves with nor competing against others nor against the clock. Instead, they were running their own self designed, life experienced race that they had set for themselves. They were internally driven not externally focussed. Indeed, this was truly who they were.
Therefore, in setting my life course for mySelf, I have always desired to be out in front, to be a pioneer, to be ahead of others, to forge a path for others to follow and to run my own race … how I move forward in my life has nothing to do with others, with beating the competition or being better than others, with measurement, with the time clock even though this is how it is often perceived in the physical world (all of these are illusions) … it only has to do with setting my own intentions and forging ahead in the direction that I choose to travel.
I just realized that I feel deeply about this with my own awakening and personal evolution. Whoa, just voicing this brought on huge waves … deep sobbing tears, restriction/aching in my throat, huge rolling movement through my stomach and higher self tingling around my nose up to third eye.
A new thought has surfaced … I now know that I have chosen to be out in front of others leading the way with my own evolution and, by doing so, inspiring others to awaken to their own true selves. Part of me keeps saying “I can’t believe it” and “I didn’t know” and that “this isn’t just a passing interest?”. It is like this has been out of my awareness or put on the back burner for so long and I have finally remembered.
I am reminded that life, in its infinite intelligence, unfolds exactly as it should. It all makes sense now … me as the toddler who wanted to venture out past the street boundaries only to be yanked back, spanked and reprimanded; tears at the sight of a young preschooler running free and effortlessly ahead of her following parent; criticism and animosity from colleagues whenever I would excel ahead of the “team”; the fear and uncertainty yet intense desire to always move beyond the box. How intelligent was my life to create a vast array of experiences … to teach me all of the ways that we are culturally conditioned to hold Self back from awakening, growing and evolving in who we have the potential of becoming. And, none of it is true … none of it can hold any of us back … once we remember the truth about who we are!
Oh crap … life can never be the same again!!!
We look forward to having Susan with us and to more of her insights!
I feel thrilled and honoured to have been invited to be a contributer to the Women Gathering site. The fun of it all started, today, when I attempted to login to the site with the username and password that I had been given.
My username was being displayed as ‘invalid’ when I logged into Women Gathering. I had entered my username, both as case specific and as non-case specific; No matter what I did, I was unable to connect (and I was, seriously, staying present to that thought rumbling through my body as I looked at the words that I had written to my host in a subsequent email – ‘I am unable to connect’. Can you help me with the connection? What a metaphor!
WordPress… when I arrived at the Women Gathering login page, I remembered that I had never been able to fully understand the WordPress site connections, where to start, and how to navigate them; I figured I would stay where I was at (Blogger = for me, then, yet another identifier… maybe, then, I would be valid). I guessed that I was going to learn about these connections with respect to staying connected to myself through my own press of words. Wow, there was a ton(e) of metaphors running though all of this!
‘Invalid username’! Me… invalid (as in not valid) or invalid (as in crippled, disabled, twisted, bent out of shape)… NOT SO. Them’s fighting words… but whom was I fighting? My throat was raw, its tissue was undulating and there was huge, uncomfortable movement deep inside my left chest – that started at my sternum and moved into the area of my heart and out through my left breast. My palate was moving and spreading as if from the vomer (seam on the roof of my mouth running parallel to the seam of the corpus callusum) out to the edges of my oral cavity. My head was aching and moving.
How long had I been carrying around unconscious, now conscious, notions of invalidity? How had that fertilized the expression of whom I was? As such, old, historical thoughts of ‘I have screwed up again’ would have been strategic genius to sustain the vibration of ‘username invalid’.
Imagine! All of this epiphany because I simply said ‘Yes’ to an invitation to contribute to Women Gathering. That really is what blogging is all about… the awakening of truth in a collective, whether it be the cells of one body or the individuals of one collective or of many… in this case, women gathering in small groups, talking. Does it get any better than this?
I know that there is more to come. I also know that I am now done with all notions of invalidity as applied to whom and what I am - and am not.
So… another notion to consider relative to the validity of my username: I AM not my name; I AM much more than that. As such, my name is a strawman identifier for the essence of me, yet it is not me. The strawman identifier – not me – is the one that is unable to connect, because it is a fiction, not real. I, alone, AM real… and I AM not my name!
Wow, Just think of it! This realization was so much fun that I started to laugh. I knew that I was metabolizing this new reality as information because the sensations in my body were changing… and, metaphorically, I was easily making all the necessary connections to WordPress in the Women Gathering site. Metaphors galore! It was and is all pretty funny to me! And… it is amazing, too.
In the beginning, I had written that I was unable to connect. How hilarious, yet profound, is that as metaphorical to my expression of my life?! If I think that I am the strawman identifier, I will always be disconnected. Yet, when I know that I am not, then my connection to self is certain and sound. What a riot! This is so much fun!
The writing of this blog has lit me up! I grok whom I am and whom I am not. I grok what I am and what I am not. I also grok that my validity is birthed, moment to moment, in my Signal from Self. Everything else is the strawman – the one that I believed I was and, now, know that I AM not – the one that I identified with as real and, now, know is not.
I’m happy to say that I will be joined on the Women Gathering blog by Sheila Winter Wallace (Ottawa) and Amy McNaughton (Halifax). Hold on to your hats – I know that both Amy and Sheila are powerful women with much to share with us all!
Amy and Sheila are now creating and Facilitating the 5-day Decloaking… and living authentically WEL-Systems® intensive for women. Their greatest gift to us all is their commitment to their own evolution. Passionate about becoming more of their unique authentic presence, they are playful, courageous and solid as a rock when it comes to staying present to their own truth and that of the women with whom they engage.
Working with other women whose hunger to discover is greater than their fear is a sacred experience. In my experience of women gathering in small groups, talking… I am clear that there is great power (and magic!) in women coming together in a willingness to be open, clear, honest and direct – with themselves and with each other. I know that every time I am blessed in this way, my life accelerates and expands in ways that I could not possibly have planned for!
Both Sheila and Amy are committed to being the attractor for other women to gather. In the coming days/weeks/months, they will share with you the impact of this process on their own evolution as well as what they witness in the women with whom they engage. We are living proof that transformation does not have to be hard and take a long time. Our own evolution and way of moving through the world is evidence of that!
Stay tuned as we continue to call to women to gather in small groups, talking… about themselves and with each other… in a way that transforms us all.