Process
Making a difference – in our own lives and in the world around us – does not have to be hard, take a long time or cost a lot of money. So habituated is our inclination to look outside of ourselves for leadership and/or resolution to what we consider a problem in our lives, it never occurs to us that we are the source of… we are the seed for… the change that we seek.
Simple things - small acts engaged with great intention – are the things from which great outcomes are sourced! The greatest challenge we face is to come to terms with the fact that it’s up to us -to each of us – to be the source for the manifestation of what we seek.
When women gather in small groups, talking… what and how we engage determines whether we are a force for maintaining the status quo or whether we are a force for the transformation that we seek and that the world so desperately requires. But either way, we already are the force that is creating our reality! The question then becomes: how do we choose to mindfully engage the force that we already are?
Creating Your Own Groups
In our drive to feel powerful in our own lives, we have taught ourselves to become more like men, believing them to be what we seek. In doing so, we have pushed aside, forgotten and learned to press away from ourselves the very qualities that make us unique in the world:
- our ability to create life within our very being;
- our ability to trust in the unfolding of what is occurring in our body and let go of the need to control or direct it;
- our ability to invite and allow, letting our body guide the outcome – and trust in its ability to do so.
The power in this (and how it is a metaphor for moving through the world) explains why there is such brutality toward women. The desire to destroy women and the horrific things done to women are not intended just to take her life but to vent rage as her life is seeping from her.
Women gathering in small groups, talking… is as natural to women as it is for water to flow downstream. We come together to connect to each other and often, through this contact, to reconnect with ourselves. This is a process that carries the potential to shape our world! Far too often, women gather and talk about things… or other people… or to tell stories about their lives. In those moments, we often seek comfort or to determine where our lives measure up – or don’t – in comparison to everyone else’s. Rarely do we consider this process of gathering women to be a force that can restructure our world, redesign our lives and replenish our souls.
Become the attractor for women to gather in a small group, talking… in ways that can change lives. It does not have to be complicated or difficult. It’s as simple as being willing to:
- Decide that it’s time and trust yourself! Take it one step at a time, move at your own speed and be willing to adjust as you go.
- Decloak and reveal your own desire and interests. Consider the women in your life and identify 3 to 5 women you respect and would welcome contact with. Contact them by phone, email or in person and let them know what you want. It may sound something like, ‘I am looking to connect with other women who are seeking more compelling and meaningful conversations. I’m starting an 8-week conversation that is intended to awaken me to my own potential. If that’s something that appeals to you, contact me at ……..”
- Pick a date! Find a time and place where you can gather with 3 to 5 other women (it does not take a big number – just a big intention!) and ask for what’s meaningful for you. For many women, a simple shift from telling stories about the past to paying attention to the future and what they WANT to create, is enough to get the ball rolling!
- Engage! You go first. Be the one who is willing to draw attention to what you want to create in your life, for yourself. You’ll be amazed at how quickly you discover that so does everyone else.
It’s important to keep the group small but not too small! Minimum of 3 (fewer than 3 far too quickly becomes a therapy session or a bitch-session!) and a maximum of 6 (including yourself), to begin. A greater challenge may come in being mindful NOT to give advice, poke or prod for people to engage, or spend time comforting others if they should have tears or other ‘upsets’. Far more powerful in this process is your willingness to invite and allow each individual woman to be herself – and trust that she’s up for it! Let your choice of WEL-Systems book or audio product be the source that provokes insights and new thinking, with your time together in the small group reserved for sharing what you discovered about yourself from reading or listening. Our greatest challenge is in finding ways to engage with each other that do not make each of us small, helpless and irrelevant in our own lives.
Recommended Approach
Here’s a recommended process to follow to help you get to those more compelling and meaningful conversations. Once you have concluded who the women will be in your small gathering:
- determine how frequently you are willing and able to connect with each other; and over what period of time. In my work with women, I’ve discovered that there really is no optimal approach – there is only the one that works best for that unique gathering of individual women.
- pick a location that offers the opportunity for uninterrupted attention to be focused on the conversation. Choose a location that is a metaphor for the intention of the gathering, i.e. space that is large enough so that people have comfortable seating, suitable climate (cleanliness, room temp, etc.) and access to the basics (washroom, refreshments). The physical space becomes a reflection of what we believe we deserve.
A common approach has been to agree to meet once a week for 2 to 3 hours (depending on the size of the group, ensuring that there is ample time for everyone to engage) for 8 consecutive weeks. The first gathering is to allow people to connect and explore their own uncertainty; identify how the process will unfold; consider any questions; and set the direction for the next six weeks. Week 8 is a wrap-up, ensuring time to review and explore the impact of the journey (which you can be sure will be significant!) and how far you’ve come; and to consider what the next step will be for those who choose to continue this journey, further. The six weeks in between become opportunities for exploration and discovery, guided through books and CD’s intended for this purpose.
The most important part of the process is to know that the women who are there are there because they want to be; and are willing to do what it takes to show up at each conversation. Knowing that the process has a beginning, an end and a specified chunk of time in the middle, makes it possible for participants to explore how to pace their discoveries and their revelations in the group process. We are far more willing to test our own wings when we know that there is a safe haven that awaits us, after our test run, where we will be welcomed in an exploration of what worked and what didn’t!
Next: Visit Tools to explore how to use WEL-Systems® books and CD’s as your guides for creating compelling, provocative and life-altering experiences for you and the women you care about.
